Birth Trauma: 5 Ways to Care for Yourself in the Aftermath
I’ve had three C-sections and a miscarriage. And while I’m deeply grateful for our healthcare system and the skilled professionals who cared for me, I can say this with honesty:
Nothing could have prepared me for the physical and emotional trauma of birth.
From the outside, it may have looked like everything went “fine.” But inside, I was struggling with guilt, fear, and a sinking feeling that somehow… I hadn’t done enough.
If you’ve been through a difficult birth or pregnancy loss, please know this: You are not alone. And there is nothing wrong with you for feeling the way you do. Birth trauma is real, and it deserves healing.
Here are five ways I’ve learned to care for myself, and how you can too when you’re navigating postpartum with trauma:
1. Be Kind to Yourself
This might sound simple, but it’s not always easy. We live in a world that celebrates bouncing back and powering through. But healing takes time, especially when it’s emotional and physical. Add onto that- hormones and sleep deprivation. Sigh.
Kindness looks like:
Letting yourself cry without needing to “fix it”
Letting go of timelines
Treating your body like it just went through something big (because it did)
Doing something nice for yourself “just because”
2. Acknowledge What Was Not in Your Control
For years, I carried the weight of believing I could have done things differently. That if I’d said the right thing or held my ground or prepared better… maybe I wouldn’t have needed surgery. Maybe I wouldn’t have lost my second baby.
It wasn’t until my last pregnancy that I met Emily, a registered nurse and birth trauma coach, who helped me uncover the truth: not everything about my births were in my control. Her words lifted a burden I didn’t realize I’d been carrying.
Give yourself permission to say: “This was not my fault.”
Because it wasn’t.
3. Honour the Season You’re In
Postpartum is not a one-size-fits-all recovery. Maybe you're healing from stitches. Maybe you're grieving. Maybe you're just trying to get through the day with leaky boobs and no sleep.
Whatever season you're in, please know that every body, every birth and every recovery, is different.
Do what’s in your capacity today. That might mean one small walk. Or calling a friend. Or just brushing your teeth and feeding your baby. That is enough.
4. Use Your Support System or Hire Out
You don’t have to do this alone.
Ask for help with meals, childcare, dog walks, or laundry. If friends aren’t nearby or don’t offer, hire support if you’re able. A postpartum doula, pelvic floor physio, or even a virtual assistant can be there- especially when you’re struggling to figure things out.
You are worthy of support without having to prove you’re “struggling enough.”
5. Invest in Therapy or Birth Trauma Coaching
If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or just not like yourself—please know that support is available.
Working with Emily changed everything for me. She helped me identify the deep belief that I had failed… and replaced it with something more true and healing. She listened. She validated my experience. And I finally felt seen.
If you’d like to explore working with her too, here are two options:
👉 Access a free module from her course here
👉 Learn more about working with Emily here
(Full disclosure: I’m an affiliate, because I believe in her work so deeply. If you purchase through my link, I may receive a small commission—at no extra cost to you.)
If you want to talk through my experience first, I’d be more than happy to share. Just email me and we can set up a time for a quick call.
You are not broken. You are not to blame. And you deserve to heal.
If this post speaks to you, feel free to forward it to a friend who might need it too.
